STICKS AND STONES CAN ONLY BREAK MY BONES, BUT UNEXPECTED EMAILS CAN SEND ME REELING
“You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now.” Donkey
“Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver you, and you shall honor me.” Psalm 50:15
The day started well. The roosters held off until 4 a.m. My dog had stayed on his side of the bed, butt facing away from my face. I did not step on a centipede or any other living forms on my way to the bathroom. I grabbed a cup of Kona coffee, went online, and finally found the out-of-print book I had been searching for—an autographed copy! In my early morning enthusiasm, I emailed my friend on Facebook to ask for her mailing address. I was excited to send her this gift, written by a wise mentor of mine who had recently passed away, a volume that affirmed a particular passion and calling that she shared with my author friend.
Her email response sent me reeling. She could not accept this gift, she explained, because I had deeply offended her with something I had said. Furthermore, I was to stay away from a mutual friend, reasoning that my intentions toward her were destructive and self-serving. While I am pretty aware of myself and those times when I fail and fall as a human, in this case her assessment was completely inaccurate. I was absolutely stunned, even sickened, that someone for whom I felt nothing but kindness and connection, could possibly have such a negative and troubling impression of me. I am aware—after many years as a priest and human being—that such attacks frequently have more to do with that person’s issues and wounds than anything I might have done. Still, it hurts!
About the only prayer I could come up with at the time was short and unsweet and not found in the Book of Common Prayer. It went something like “WTF! You have got to be kidding me!” For a brief moment, a host of unhelpful doubts began to descend—about my life, calling, convictions, humanity, faith, and gifts.
And then I got the most extraordinary gift – via email on Facebook no less!
Just a few minutes after the message of doom, a young youth minister and missionary in Romania wrote the following message to me: “Hello Father Bill! Just wanted to say that I have been in need of inspiration lately and I have been reading your blog and listening to your sermons—just wanted to encourage you—they are great! I love the one where you sang about being in God’s Army. I might have even laughed out loud and had to explain to a friend that I am not crazy just listening to something funny. …. Anyway, just wanted to say that your sermons are great and so is the blog—keep it coming! God bless.”
This particular message came as a profound moment of grace and affirmation when I needed it most. It was one of those reminders that God has always got my back. If we’re living life like we ought, we will not please everyone all the time. We will sometimes be misunderstood, and our efforts will be unappreciated. But our attempts to please God will always be pleasing to God. And sometimes that is enough to get us through to the next day.
“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.”
Mother Theresa
