4 Lessons on What It Means to Be Truly ‘Big’ in a World Obsessed with Size
We’ve all heard the stereotype: "Everything's bigger in Texas." The phrase conjures images of sprawling ranches, oversized pickup trucks, and egos to match. It’s a cultural shorthand for a specific kind of greatness measured in acreage and bravado. But what if our definition of "big" is all wrong? On a recent episode of the podcast "Spirituality for Real People," host and fourth-generation Texan Father Bill Miller explores a more profound and counter-intuitive idea of what it truly means to be large-hearted. Through a series of surprising stories, he challenges our conventional measures of greatness. Here are four takeaways that redefine what it means to be truly big.
1. True Strength Is Measured in Forgiveness, Not Bragging Rights
On a trip to Nova Scotia, Father Bill found himself at a "Save Our Seas" benefit concert where, between songs, the host took aim at a familiar target: the Texas ego. One joke told of a Texan rancher bragging to a Canadian farmer that his ranch was so vast, he could get in his truck at sunrise and still not reach the other side by sundown. The farmer just nodded and said, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I once had a truck like that."
The next joke had a Texan in Australia boasting about his massive cattle herds, only to be stumped by a group of kangaroos hopping by. "What in the world are those?" he asked. The Aussie rancher replied with a smirk, "You mean you don't have grasshoppers over there in Texas?"
After the show, Father Bill approached the host, dropped a "Texas-sized gift" into the offering plate, and introduced himself. The man's face turned beet red, and he apologized profusely for the jokes. Instead of taking offense, Father Bill offered a masterclass in a different kind of Texan pride.
You didn't offend me, my friend. You see, down in Texas, our hearts are bigger than our ranches. Big enough to forgive you, brother.
This response brilliantly subverts the ego-driven stereotype. It suggests that the greatest strength lies not in boasting about the size of your land, but in possessing a heart big enough to absorb a joke, offer grace, and turn a potential conflict into a moment of connection.
2. We're Judged by Our Inner Capacity, Not Our Outward Stature
The podcast draws a powerful parallel between our modern obsession with "size"—whether it’s ranches, bank accounts, or social media followings—and a piece of ancient wisdom. It revisits the biblical story of the prophet Samuel, sent to find a new king among the sons of Jesse.
Samuel was initially impressed by the elder sons—the tall, strong ones who "had all lettered in football at Bethlehem High." As Father Bill jokes, "I think there was a popular show made about it, Sabbath Night Lights." Samuel saw their outward stature and thought he had found his king. But he was corrected with a divine insight that cuts through millennia of human judgment:
Oh no, you see you mortals, you look only on outward appearance, the height of one's stature, the size of the ranch, the number of steers, but the Lord looks only at the heart and the heart's capacity to love.
In a culture that relentlessly values visible markers of success, this is a radical reminder. It proposes that what truly matters is the unseen—the depth of our empathy and our "capacity to love." This is the metric by which we are ultimately measured.
3. The Biggest Feelings Often Come From the Smallest Actions
You might not believe it, but Father Bill found himself living in a barn—a "barndominium," to be precise. It was a comfortable place, overlooking the "vast acreage of a large Texas ranch" and a "stunning Texas sunset" each evening. But the most meaningful part of his day had nothing to do with the impressive landscape.
Just on the other side of his fence lived a horse named Blanco and "two very entertaining characters," donkeys named Waylon and Willie. Every evening, he would perform a simple ritual: taking a bag of horse cookies—in which he’d "invested a small fortune"—to the fence to share with the animals. He explains that regardless of the day's frustrations, this small act of sharing was the undisputed highlight. In that simple gesture, he recalls, "my heart was always warmed, always expanded."
This anecdote reveals a quiet truth. Profound moments of connection and heart-expansion aren’t always found in monumental events. More often, they are discovered in the small, consistent, and generous routines that anchor our days.
4. A Generous Heart Is More Valuable Than a Perfect Mind
The final story takes place on a crowded train from Wales to Scotland. Father Bill was seated across from a boisterous, tank-top-clad Irishman with a "fiery red ring of wavy locks." Upon learning his new acquaintance was from Texas, the Irishman erupted with joy, delivering a "Texas-sized bear hug" and insisting they share his oversized beverage.
He then launched into a passionate, if comically inaccurate, retelling of Texas history. He celebrated the heroes of the Alamo, proudly declaring that David Crockett, John Wayne, and—most memorably—General George Washington were there to defeat Santa Anna. When Father Bill poured a modest, priest-sized portion of the offered drink, the Irishman scowled, grabbed the cup, filled it to overflowing, and boomed, "There! I'm sharing a Texas-sized portion with my Texas brother!"
My Irish brother may have gotten his history a bit confused, but know this, his heart was in the right place. You see, a heart bigger than Texas atones for many a sin.
In a world full of pedantic "well, actually" corrections, this story is a powerful reminder that an overflowing generosity of spirit is its own form of truth. The Irishman’s facts were wrong, but his heart—open, enthusiastic, and eager to connect—was undeniably right.
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Conclusion: How Big Is Your Heart?
The theme running through all four stories is a powerful challenge to our conventional wisdom. The most meaningful measure of a person is not the size of their possessions, their body, or their intellect, but the size of their heart. As the Texas songwriter Guy Clark once said, music "is not brain surgery. It is always heart surgery." The same is true of a well-lived life.
True greatness resonates from one heart to another, a sentiment captured perfectly by blues artist Lightnin' Hopkins: "I play it within my heart so that you'll hear it. within yours."
In a world that wants us to accumulate more, what is one small thing you can give away today to make your own heart bigger?
